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| 'Everyone lives with an tries to hide fear. A rich man fears the loss of his property, the leader fears he will be outmaneuvered...everyone has his own fear and must learn to live with and conquer it.' - Mochtar Lubis If there is only one universal truth, it is that all of us are seeking success. This will not be a blog post to preach about the right ways or strategies to attain success - there have been numerous before me that have done so with elegance. What they have not really addressed, however, is our tendency to fall in love with our own misery. Here, I mean that our perception of and quest for success is often muddled and obstructed by our fear and obstinate attitudes. Over the next few blog posts, I will start a series of reflective and exploratory writings to decipher the meaning of success. I also wish to offer my views on the correct frame of mind to achieve success. In these posts, I will propose several ideas that I have harbored in recent years. You can say that these philosophies have guided me through my darkest hours and shared my happiness during my moments of triumph. I do not claim the experience to guide everyone, nor do I assume preeminence in this field of socio-psychology. What I can offer readers, however, is a glimpse into my logic and discover why the the path of success is a road with no end. I must clarify that the works of Mochtar Lubis have influenced me a great deal, it is only normal for us to be inspired by great writers. Hence, I hope to share with you that inspiration, and I wish to be inspired by your thoughts on this as well. For now, my road to success, however I define the word, is a road with no end. I say this because of the transient nature of success. I used to think doctors were the noblest life savers in the word when I was 5. Little did I realize that there were so many professions equally deserving that title. Then, success for 17 year old Dennis was a legal career and a family. Now, that interpretation has eroded and given way to another impermanent one. The upcoming series will deal with the nature of success - the feelings of 'having it made', happiness, satisfaction etc. It will also challenge traditional notions of dreams and aspirations, suggesting that we do not achieve them. No we do not. Instead, we sustain them. Dreams are what motivates us in the road with no end. The path to success is a road with no end, because we always stare face to face with the prospect of improving our condition. Such is the industrious nature of humanity. We try hard not to be content, because we are perfectionists, but perfection is as unattainable as it is elusive. Thus, the we are on this never-ending path. The quote I used above introduces the silhouette of fear that often haunts the decisions we make. We constantly look back, behind our shoulders, to make sure they don't catch up. Throughout the series, I will provide some illustrations from my own limited experience on this road. What I hope readers would gain out of this series is a realization that we are always self-overcoming. We are always transforming, both in outlook and perception. We are always listening, learning and maturing. We are constantly dreaming as we tread down that road with no end. We are incessantly fearing the unknown, wary of change and obstinate to fresh ideas. Fear not, since all of us have to walk down our own roads. We must educate one another. We must encourage and motivate each other. It is only through external support that we can sustain our dreams and aspirations. That is the only way we can sanely and healthily endure this road with no end to the very end of our days, at least that is how I view it. I apologize if I have adopted a self-righteous tone in the course of this post. I hope that you will share my passionate understanding, that the act of dreaming without fear and perpetuating our aspirations, is the healthiest way of completing this marathon called life. Allow me to show you this road through my lens. |
I write this to proclaim my love for my beloved grandfather who has passed from this realm not two days ago. My grandfather and I enjoyed a close relationship since I lived not far from him when I was in Malaysia. Grandpa lived a very healthy life well into his twilight years. Since I was little, he would take me to the city park almost every other morning just for a morning stroll, and I was always treated to a good breakfast with soy bean milk with grandmother after. Grandpa's house was large- my family and I would visit everyday to eat lunch with them. For many years, it was the hub for festive occasions, be it Chinese New Year, Christmas, relatives visiting, funerals and so forth. I have chosen the house as a setting for countless essays during my primary school years, when I had to describe happy memories or celebrations. Indeed, Grandpa's home was such a collection of merriment and was very much an integral part of my childhood. Grandpa was always there a...
Great post :), happiness/success is always a nice thought-provoking topic.
ReplyDeleteAs you have already implied the problem is that we view happiness as an end rather than a means. Cheesy as this may sound “life is about the journey not the destination”. If “success is a path with no end”, then how can we possibly envision what form happiness will take? The issue of assuming that a particular set of goals regarding your income, career and personal relationships (etc etc) will lead to an optimum state of happiness is that we’re particularly poor at predicting how we will feel in the future. The characteristics of the here and now are superimposed on an ideal image of the future where these variables change. We change spiritually, mentally (and physically =[ ) throughout time yet we often retain the same goals.
But I found your point of us falling in love with our own misery particularly interesting. I agree in that we often revel in our despair. I think this comes from the arrogant assumption that we are supposed to be exceptionally happy all the time. It’s as if we settle for mediocre just to get a rest from trying so damn hard to reach perfection. The sense of dissatisfaction that we often feel is a morale-killer because we interpret the absence of happiness as a failure in and of itself. This is exacerbated by the fact that we live in a society where we are constantly told happiness must be achieved (through consumer goods?) and if we are not happy something is intrinsically wrong (think “mid-life crisis”). I think it’s important not to interpret the absence of happiness as a negative reflection of ourselves; life is life, not some roller-coaster of bliss. I’m not saying that we should not strive for happiness or that is unattainable but that as you have already said we should come to terms with its transient nature. As Salvador Dali put it:
“Have no fear of perfection- you will never reach it”
Thank you for your thoughtful comments Shadyar, however, I am also inclined to believe that our goals are ever-changing. Yes, we may have some fixed variables (eg money, love & happiness), but as you said:
ReplyDelete'The characteristics of the here and now are superimposed on an ideal image of the future where these variables change.'
I guess, what I feel that all of us must grasp is the reality that sustaining the very act of dreaming, that is, never failing to keep hoping and aspiring without fear is the key to running this race.
I particularly like your insertion of Dali's quote, and applaud your realization that 'the absence of happiness' is not a negative reflection of ourselves.
I hope you will stay tuned to upcoming posts on hopes and aspirations; to be blogged before I leave for Singapore.